Thursday, November 29, 2012

More What NOT to Buy My Kids

Ever just want to say what you REALLY want to say about gift giving for your kids, well this Mom did: What Not to F'ing Buy My Kids This Holiday.  Hey, since it is out there, why not add a little to the list, and is there a reason we must limit this to holidays?!  I mean really, is there ANY point you want this crap in your house?  My friends and I came up with our own list as an addendum, though a couple were important enough to keep and expand upon.  Thanks Feb08 Moms among others :). 

1. Presents requiring adult interaction - Unless there are siblings that can play together, this is not a great gift for exactly the reasons in the cited blog. We do need bathroom time, uninterrupted would be great, but obviously that is for a different wish list.  Gifts of this nature should reside in the gift giver's home.

2. Anything with glitter - Nuff said.

3. Talking Puzzles - The concept in itself is not bad.  But buyer and user beware.  If one single piece is missing, that damn thing will talk every time the lights go out.  So if you gift one of these find puzzle specimens, be prepared to wake to fire engines, train whistles and animal noises after our next visit.  You may never find the source.  We are moms and we are good at hiding things.

4.  Dollar store/Kids' Meal Toys - We know our children are deprived these tchotchkes. There are reasons for that. They typically do not have all the features of a real version bought in reputable stores and they tend to break quickly. 

5. Toys requring companion pieces (specifically boy stuff) - Batman needs a Robin or at least a Joker.  They aren't Barbies.  Boys aren't going to dress them, brush their hair and be content.  They either need someone to fight crime with or fight against.

6.  Stuffed animals - Just know that if you continually bring one, we are most likely going to continually discard one.  Please don't ask where that "one" is because if it is here, we don't know and if it isn't, you won't like the answer.

7. "Craft" items with a zillion teeny pieces (thanks Britt!) - Using the term craft lightly, as the items could easily be made from something not requiring grains the size of sand to create it.  Think Moon Sand, Pixos, or Orbeez.  The maker of these items either never had kids or wanted to punish people for having them.  They should only ever be used outdoors.  Of course, we can't promise they are environmentally friendly.

8. Expanding on the dolls - Please, we beg you, do not bring dolls into our houses with those glassy eyes that open and close. This is not because our daughters won't like them, but because they freak the SHIT out of us! Think Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. Seriously!Side note: There were ceramic dolls that belonged to my grandmother in the attic of my old house. I faced them toward the walls because I was afraid they were looking at me through the storage walls. I was a married adult, mind you!

9.  Race track -  People, there is an age limit on toys for a reason!  It isn't typically under 4 on race tracks.  If you were sweet, you got a set that had the sections marked so they could be taken apart and put together easily. But chances are good, you didn't and now we have to pour another drink or 3 trying to figure out how the damn thing goes together for the 5th time today because a nearly 3 year old just takes it apart and then whines for it to be back together.  And it isn't even noon.  Ok, the drink is milk for the kid, but we will make up for that later!

10.  Items WITHOUT a gift receipt - We beg and plead with you, please include a gift receipt.  It isn't a reflection on you if it is the wrong size, wrong color, or we got 2.  Let us at least get what you paid for it in exchange for something that will be used.

Happy Holidays!
Love, The Moms


  1. My only comment here is ...AMEN!

    1. Tee Hee, Michelle! I know you are there too :)

  2. I agree and I add anything that needs to be assembled and anything that does not have an off button!

    1. The off button one was done by the original author :). Remember Teddy Ruxpin? That darn thing would go off in the night. Eek! And assembly, forgot that one!

  3. So thankful my kids are past this stage, because I am sure we owned every single item on your list!!

  4. OOH I love this post!! Thank YOU!! I agree with all of them!!

    1. Thanks! We laughed so hard at the original, but it just didn't cover it all :)


Thanks for leaving a comment! Look forward to more :) ~ Susan